Doug, Kick Him Off the Tour!
Philly native Mac gives his Dad, a Supreme Court justice, the boot from fantasy league for minor roster mismanagement
Jeff
2 time league champion (20 attempts)
Mac, a Philadelphia native, local writer, and commissioner of the well-known fantasy football league “Philly’s Willy’s” kicks own Father, manager of the mediocre Everyday I'm Russelling team, out of league after some trivial roster mismanagement.
“Mac, I raised you, paid for your college, and now can’t retire because of all of your DUIs. You’re really trying to kick me out? I started this league!” lamented his father.
“Dad you started Lamar Jackson two weeks in a row when he was out with a bum hammy. Can’t go idle in this league. Your ass is grass!” - says prick
Sorry papa! You’re outta here.
“Mac, I forgot to check my lineup because I was in court last week representing you in the assault you were charged with after sucker punching Goofy at Disney World. A trip I paid for, mind you.”
That altercation at Disney unfolded when Space Mountain was temporarily closed due to a quote “major mechanical issue”. Ignoring the alarmed engineers and security, Mac dashed past them, slammed the green "Go" button, and leapt into the last coaster car, all the while bellowing, “TRUST THE PROCESS!”
The hat Mac was wearing during the incident. Honestly this hat is fire and maybe the only cool thing he has ever done. We earn no commission if you buy this hat.
Meanwhile in the group chat the rest of the league can’t believe what they just witnessed. And a few of them are secretly upset that they are losing out at their easiest path to a W this year when Mac’s papa, a well-known Supreme Court justice, inevitably starts Chad Ochocino (retired) in the flex.
Mac, going full Shooter McGavin, pipes up “Can’t let sentimentality cloud judgement, guys. Yeah that cat raised me, but what has he done for me lately? This is Fantasy Football guys - it’s FOR REAL! Papa is out! Now who’s joining me for a steak wit at Genos before the 6ers game?”.
The group chat goes dark. Mac, alone and sad, decides to make a bowl of his “Mac’s Famous Mac & Cheese” at home and watches Embiid drop 34 & 13 in darkness.
1 week later, Mac was kicked out of his father’s basement.
